Bad day at work?

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by limbkiller, Jan 25, 2019.

  1. limbkiller

    limbkiller Pulling my hair. Supporting Addict

    Aug 18, 2011
    Next time you have a bad day at work. . . think of this guy. Rob is a
    commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs
    underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

    Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to The X, 103.2
    FM in Ft Wayne IN, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest.
    Needless to say, she won.

    "Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I
    had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
    work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize
    it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
    first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

    As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
    office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.

    So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel powered industrial
    water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the
    sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, then pumps it down to the diver
    through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

    Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with
    no complaints.

    What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
    stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm
    water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
    So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
    seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but
    the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened.

    The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
    Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to
    it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

    When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
    jellyfish into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over
    the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
    along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say
    I aborted the dive.

    I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
    35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry

    When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
    As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
    down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt
    as soon as I got in the chamber.

    The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days because my
    rectum was swollen shut.

    So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
    it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
  2. Colorado Sonny

    Colorado Sonny Deo Volente Supporting Addict

    Sep 25, 2015

  3. Bro. Pappaw

    Bro. Pappaw Well-Known Member

    Mar 18, 2016
  4. Capthobo

    Capthobo NRA Endowment member Supporting Addict

    Nov 9, 2016
    I can totally relate to this as I’ve experienced sea-lice trapped under my wetsuit while scraping barnacles from the running gear (shafts,props and rudders) of vessels for maintenance cleanings.
    At least I did not have to decompress.
  5. isialk

    isialk Well-Known Member Supporting Addict

    Jan 7, 2017

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  6. Greg45acp

    Greg45acp Double Secret Banned Supporting Addict

    Oct 31, 2016
    I'm groaning and laughing at the same time....
  7. pscipio03

    pscipio03 Fun O' Meter on FULL

    Mar 11, 2013
    Could have been worse. The hose went around the back. Imagine if it went on in the front

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