Careful with Grandma

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by limbkiller, Oct 5, 2018.

  1. limbkiller

    limbkiller Pulling my hair. Supporting Addict

    Aug 18, 2011
    Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.


    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.He approached her and asked,

    "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"



    She responded,

    "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."



    The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,

    "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"


    She again replied,

    "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."


    The defense attorney almost died.

    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice said,

    "If either of you SOBs asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry a$$e$ in jail for contempt."
     
  2. salelcid

    salelcid Well-Known Member Supporting Addict

    Nov 28, 2015
    That was a good one!
     
    limbkiller likes this.

  3. mikemac

    mikemac Well-Known Member Supporting Addict

    Apr 22, 2017
    Made my afternoon
     
    limbkiller likes this.

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