Carnation Milk

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by limbkiller, Dec 16, 2018.

  1. limbkiller

    limbkiller Pulling my hair. Supporting Addict

    Aug 18, 2011
    This old lady had been married to a farmer all her adult life. They had cows and horses on their farm and also grew a number of crops for sale at the local farmers' market. While shopping at the local grocery store for a few items that she and her husband did not raise or grow for themselves, she came across a contest form.
    It was from the Carnation Milk Company, and the object was to complete a jingle in fifty words or less. The Company furnished the first line of the jingle with these words, "I like Carnation best of all" ...and it was about those little cans of milk found on grocery store shelves...objects of both humor and scorn for the farm couple. So she completed the jingle and sent it off to the Carnation Milk Company. A couple of months later, the woman was surprised when a Carnation Milk representative came to her door and told her that her entry was the best one submitted. However, it was unfortunate the company could not publish it. So, in lieu of publishing, they had decided that her entry was worth at least a consolation award and presented her with a company check in the amount of $1000 for her creativity.

    Here is her entry:

    I like Carnation best of all,
    No tits to pull, no $hit to haul
    No barns to clean, no hay to pitch
    Just punch a hole in the son of a bitch
  2. salelcid

    salelcid Well-Known Member

    Nov 28, 2015

  3. Colorado Sonny

    Colorado Sonny Deo Volente Supporting Addict

    Sep 25, 2015
  4. ZoidMeister

    ZoidMeister Consider my signature line before replying . . . .

    Dec 4, 2014
  5. 9mm4evr

    9mm4evr Well-Known Member

    Apr 8, 2018
    Sounds like Carnation really milked that contest!
    xerts1191 and wcanterbury like this.
  6. WartHog

    WartHog Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 2014
    The poem really goes:

    “Carnation milk is the best in the land
    Here I sit, with a can in my hand

    No tits to pull, no hay to pitch
    Just poke a hole in the son of a bitch”

    It was actually published in a book of poetry years ago. I had read it in the early 80s while attending UNO.
    xerts1191 and AZPhil like this.

You need 3 posts to add links to your posts! This is used to prevent spam.

Draft saved Draft deleted