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Pulling my hair.
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This old lady had been married to a farmer all her adult life. They had cows and horses on their farm and also grew a number of crops for sale at the local farmers' market. While shopping at the local grocery store for a few items that she and her husband did not raise or grow for themselves, she came across a contest form.
It was from the Carnation Milk Company, and the object was to complete a jingle in fifty words or less. The Company furnished the first line of the jingle with these words, "I like Carnation best of all" ...and it was about those little cans of milk found on grocery store shelves...objects of both humor and scorn for the farm couple. So she completed the jingle and sent it off to the Carnation Milk Company. A couple of months later, the woman was surprised when a Carnation Milk representative came to her door and told her that her entry was the best one submitted. However, it was unfortunate the company could not publish it. So, in lieu of publishing, they had decided that her entry was worth at least a consolation award and presented her with a company check in the amount of $1000 for her creativity.

Here is her entry:

I like Carnation best of all,
No tits to pull, no $hit to haul
No barns to clean, no hay to pitch
Just punch a hole in the son of a bitch
 

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Deo Volente
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:roflmaro::roflmaro::roflmaro:
 

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This old lady had been married to a farmer all her adult life. They had cows and horses on their farm and also grew a number of crops for sale at the local farmers' market. While shopping at the local grocery store for a few items that she and her husband did not raise or grow for themselves, she came across a contest form.
It was from the Carnation Milk Company, and the object was to complete a jingle in fifty words or less. The Company furnished the first line of the jingle with these words, "I like Carnation best of all" ...and it was about those little cans of milk found on grocery store shelves...objects of both humor and scorn for the farm couple. So she completed the jingle and sent it off to the Carnation Milk Company. A couple of months later, the woman was surprised when a Carnation Milk representative came to her door and told her that her entry was the best one submitted. However, it was unfortunate the company could not publish it. So, in lieu of publishing, they had decided that her entry was worth at least a consolation award and presented her with a company check in the amount of $1000 for her creativity.

Here is her entry:

I like Carnation best of all,
No tits to pull, no $hit to haul
No barns to clean, no hay to pitch
Just punch a hole in the son of a bitch
Sounds like Carnation really milked that contest!
 

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The poem really goes:

“Carnation milk is the best in the land
Here I sit, with a can in my hand

No tits to pull, no hay to pitch
Just poke a hole in the son of a bitch”

It was actually published in a book of poetry years ago. I had read it in the early 80s while attending UNO.
 
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