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Pulling my hair.
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Viruses WARNING . . . Watch out for these new viruses - Neither
Symantec or McAfee have any solutions for these yet!!!

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep
counting and re-counting.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a 7-inch Hard Drive with NO
memory.

The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out
of an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your
computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where
it is stored.

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to
100 Mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 Mb.

The Jack Kevorkian Virus - Deletes all old files.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your
processor doesn't care.

The Joey Buttafuoco Virus - Only attacks minor files.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files,
leaves, but will be back.

AND THE FAVORITE
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a
3.5 inch floppy then discards it through Windows
 

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The Ronald Reagan Hughes Act Virus - Limits your keyboard to one character per keystroke for all keyboards made after 1986. Anyone purchasing one that is not affected by this useless virus shall pay a $200 dollar transfer tax and get approval from local and federal government.


The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to
100 Mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 Mb. Expanded drive however, is filled with ****. Unfortunately some people find this **** pleasing.
 
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