Computer virus alert

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by limbkiller, Nov 29, 2018.

  1. limbkiller

    limbkiller Pulling my hair. Supporting Addict

    Aug 18, 2011
    Viruses WARNING . . . Watch out for these new viruses - Neither
    Symantec or McAfee have any solutions for these yet!!!

    The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep
    counting and re-counting.

    The Clinton Virus - Gives you a 7-inch Hard Drive with NO
    memory.

    The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out
    of an old floppy.

    The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your
    computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

    The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where
    it is stored.

    The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

    The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to
    100 Mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 Mb.

    The Jack Kevorkian Virus - Deletes all old files.

    The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

    The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your
    processor doesn't care.

    The Joey Buttafuoco Virus - Only attacks minor files.

    The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files,
    leaves, but will be back.

    AND THE FAVORITE
    The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a
    3.5 inch floppy then discards it through Windows
     
    xerts1191, tac45, 1911 dawg and 16 others like this.
  2. WartHog

    WartHog Well-Known Member

    590
    Jan 29, 2014
    The Ronald Reagan Hughes Act Virus - Limits your keyboard to one character per keystroke for all keyboards made after 1986. Anyone purchasing one that is not affected by this useless virus shall pay a $200 dollar transfer tax and get approval from local and federal government.


    The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to
    100 Mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 Mb. Expanded drive however, is filled with ****. Unfortunately some people find this **** pleasing.
     
    Mike Meints likes this.

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