Dictionary

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by limbkiller, Jul 13, 2020.

  1. limbkiller

    limbkiller Pulling my hair. Supporting Addict

    Aug 18, 2011
    DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

    40-ish.............................................49

    Adventurous.................Slept with everyone

    Athletic......................................No tits

    Average looking....................Ugly

    Beautiful...........................Pathological liar

    Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills

    Emotionally Secure......................On medication

    Feminist..........................................Fat

    Free spirit....................................Junkie

    Friendship first..........................Former slut

    Fun..........................................Annoying

    New-Age..............Body hair in the wrong places

    Old-fashioned.............................No BJs

    Open-minded.................................Desperate

    Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing

    Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk

    Professional....................................Bitch

    Voluptuous...................................Very Fat

    Large frame.................................Hugely Fat

    Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker



    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. Yes = No

    2. No = Yes

    3. Maybe = No

    4. We need = I want..

    5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

    9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

    10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


    MEN'S ENGLISH:


    1. I am hungry = I am hungry

    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

    3. I am tired = I am tired

    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

    5. I love you = Let's have sex now

    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
     
    Uncle Bob, xerts1191, isialk and 21 others like this.
  2. pcar157

    pcar157 Well-Known Member

    658
    Jan 22, 2019
    Lovin' it "limbkiller"!
     
    Uncle Bob, isialk and limbkiller like this.

  3. 1911 dawg

    1911 dawg Well-Known Member

    933
    Jan 14, 2018
  4. dasroofr

    dasroofr Well-Known Member

    608
    Jul 13, 2019
    Excellent post........and mostly true!!!!!
     
    isialk and limbkiller like this.
  5. SVG

    SVG Well-Known Member

    536
    Mar 9, 2019
    Hilarious!

    "Women need a reason..............................Men need a place"
     
    Uncle Bob, isialk and limbkiller like this.

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