Fastest Thing on Earth

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by limbkiller, Jan 31, 2019.

  1. limbkiller

    limbkiller Pulling my hair. Supporting Addict

    Aug 18, 2011
    Ever wonder what is the fastest thing on earth ?

    An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified.

    He decided call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get
    the job.

    The day came and as the four sat around the conference room
    table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
    Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

    "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked The second man. "Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the terviewer. "The blink of an eye... that's a very popular cliché for speed."

    He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch,
    way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
    The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.

    Turning to the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
    The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers,
    It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."
    "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
    "Oh I can explain." said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom.

    But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already sheet my pants!"
    xerts1191, tokuboi69, jfrey and 11 others like this.
  2. ZoidMeister

    ZoidMeister Consider my signature line before replying . . . .

    Dec 4, 2014
    Troof . . . not that I would know anything about that . . .

    How do you get peanut butter out of a fur coat again?

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