I have A.A.A.D.D

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by limbkiller, Dec 6, 2018.

  1. limbkiller

    limbkiller Pulling my hair. Supporting Addict

    Aug 18, 2011
    Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. –
    Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
    This is how it manifests:
    I decide to water my garden.
    As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
    I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
    As I start toward the garage,
    I notice mail on the porch table that
    I brought up from the mail box earlier.
    I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
    I lay my car keys on the table,
    put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
    and notice that the can is full.
    So, I decide to put the bills
    back
    on the table and take out the garbage first.
    But then I think,
    since I’m going to be near the mailbox
    when I take out the garbage anyway,
    I may as well pay the bills first.
    I take my check book off the table,
    and see that there is only one check left.
    My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
    so I go inside the house to my desk where
    I find the
    can of Pepsi I’d been drinking.
    I’m going to look for my checks,
    but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
    so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
    The Pepsi is getting warm,
    and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
    As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
    a vase of flowers on the counter
    catches my eye–they need water.
    I put the Pepsi on the counter and
    discover my reading glasses that
    I’ve been searching for all morning.
    I decide I better put them back on my desk,
    but first I’m going to water the flowers.
    I set the glasses back down on the counter,
    fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
    Someone left it on the kitchen table.
    I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
    I’ll be looking for the remote,
    but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table,
    so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
    but first I’ll water the flowers.
    I pour some water in the flowers,
    but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
    So, I set the remote back on the table,
    get some towels and wipe up the spill.
    Then, I head down the hall trying to
    remember what I was planning to do.
    At the end of the day:
    the car isn’t washed
    the bills aren’t paid
    there is a warm can of
    Pepsi sitting on the counter
    the flowers don’t have enough water,
    there is still only 1 check in my check book,
    I can’t find the remote,
    I can’t find my glasses,
    and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
    Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
    I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all the damn day,
    and I’m really tired.
    I realize this is a serious problem,
    and I’ll try to get some help for it,
    but first I’ll check my e-mail….
    Do me a favor.
    Forward this message to everyone you know,
    because I don’t remember who the hell I’ve sent it to.
    Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!!
     
  2. hamholfarm

    hamholfarm 1911Addicted-> Avoiding Intervention

    204
    May 10, 2014
    The truth!
    I so look forward to your posts every morning, always a good chuckle.
     
    xerts1191 and limbkiller like this.

  3. Acroyer

    Acroyer I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a 1911 today Supporting Addict

    Dec 16, 2015
  4. xerts1191

    xerts1191 Well-Known Member

    Aug 12, 2017
    Oh my god that’s me!
     
    limbkiller likes this.
  5. Grizz

    Grizz Well-Known Member

    459
    Nov 6, 2016
    thats me every day
     
    limbkiller likes this.
  6. 9mm4evr

    9mm4evr Well-Known Member

    216
    Apr 8, 2018
    Please disregard if I responded to this.
     
    limbkiller likes this.
  7. 9mm4evr

    9mm4evr Well-Known Member

    216
    Apr 8, 2018
    **** did I reply to this already?
     
    xerts1191 and limbkiller like this.

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