Limericks

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by jaydoc, Apr 21, 2019.

  1. jaydoc

    jaydoc i'm riding a turtle!

    Aug 10, 2012
    The limerick is furtive and mean.
    You must keep it in close quarantine,
    Or it sneaks to the slums,
    And promptly becomes
    Disorderly, drunk and obscene.

    A limrick's writtn to plas,
    Lik a man on a flying trapz.
    I rgrt that this sampl
    Sts no good xampl,
    But you may rdm it with e’s

    This limerick's too clever, I fear
    And refers to itself (as you'll hear)
    With words twenty nine
    I've checked 'em, it's fine
    But it means the last word isn't

    A wonderful bird is the pelican;
    His beak can hold more than his belican.
    He can hold in his beak
    Enough food for a week,
    Though I’m damned if I know how the helican!

    This limerick goes in reverse
    Unless I’m remiss
    The neat thing is this:
    If you start from the bottom-most verse
    This limerick’s not any worse.

    There was a young woman of Natchez
    Whose garments were always in patchez
    When comments arose
    On the state of her clothes,
    She replied, “When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez"

    Our novels get longa and longa
    Their language gets stronga and stronga
    There’s much to be said
    For a life that is led
    In illiterate places like Bonga

    There once was a man from Nantucket
    Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
    But his daughter, named Nan,
    Ran away with a man
    And as for the bucket, Nantucket

    But he followed the pair to Pawtucket,
    The man and the girl with the bucket;
    And he said to the man,
    He was welcome to Nan,
    But as for the bucket, Pawtucket

    Then the pair followed Pa to Manhasset,
    Where he still held the cash as an asset,
    But Nan and the man
    Stole the money and ran,
    And as for the bucket, Manhasset

    Of this story we hear from Nantucket,
    About the mysterious loss of a bucket,
    We are sorry for Nan,
    As well as the man –
    The cash and the bucket, Pawtucket
     

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