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Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by bigbob76, Feb 23, 2019.

  1. bigbob76

    bigbob76 Not so big Bob these days Supporting Addict

    545
    Jul 3, 2012
    During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable! Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused, "Happy Birthday!"
     
  2. wrmiller

    wrmiller The Tinker

    Oct 29, 2016
    LOL... Thanks for the Sat. laugh. :)
     
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  3. fieldgrade

    fieldgrade resident crank

    Mar 13, 2017
    Didn't see that one coming.

    LOL
     
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  4. CENTURIATOR

    CENTURIATOR Well-Known Member

    593
    Dec 20, 2018
  5. tac45

    tac45 What me worry ? Supporting Addict

    Mar 4, 2012
    Bob , you have a husband. ??? :eek1:
     
  6. bigbob76

    bigbob76 Not so big Bob these days Supporting Addict

    545
    Jul 3, 2012
    I just realized the way that read when I looked at it again. I should have edited it, lol!
     
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  7. BennyAdeline

    BennyAdeline Official Hi-Point Brand Representative

    638
    Nov 26, 2018
    Very progressive!
     
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  8. tac45

    tac45 What me worry ? Supporting Addict

    Mar 4, 2012
    It’s ok Bob, your secrets safe with us ! Happy birthday by the way :)
     
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  9. bigbob76

    bigbob76 Not so big Bob these days Supporting Addict

    545
    Jul 3, 2012
    You guys are brutal, lol!
     
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  10. isialk

    isialk Well-Known Member Supporting Addict

    Jan 7, 2017
    That’s an awesome joke!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
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  11. bamashooter

    bamashooter Well-Known Member

    Dec 11, 2013
    That is just toooooo funny. Good one.
     
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  12. ORShooter

    ORShooter Just outsided the realm of Crazy!

    Nov 28, 2018
    I read that 5 min. ago and I'm still laughing!:roflmaro:
     
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