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More Adventures of Chicken Little-I Don't Even Have Any BBQ's To Wear This S*** To, But We Do Dress For Tea

Colt 
1K views 20 replies 13 participants last post by  Merton 
#1 ·
I don't mean to bum anyone out(at least not any more than usual), but I have shared so much with you all about our situation that I feel compelled to do so. Life always has ups and downs and usually at the same time. As we come within a week of taking care of grandpa(the "real" Merton) for 3 full years, two and a half of which have been 100%, 24 hour care, he is fading and hard. He is no longer taking food and drinking water in only tiny sips, which seem to pain him. He is speaking to people that are not there and is more lucid than he has been in some time. When he has his "visitors", our youngest dog barks at them in a way we have never seen and it is a bit unnerving. Like there is really something there. Since we did hospice for grandma and her death in Jan. '20 I have seen and felt things that I simply can't explain and never experienced prior. I don't know what else to say. He is beloved by us and this burden has been ours to bear and we wear it well. If it is upon us to care for family that others cannot, then we will answer that calling. It is an honor. It is awful. Both of those things are true and that's just the way it is.

Mallory and I went to Portland on Monday to wrap up the sale of the house there and were supposed to drive home Friday morning. Grandpa crashed hard and we packed and left in a hurry Thursday afternoon. It's 250 miles to home in Klamath County with The Klamath Tribes. On the way, we go over Mt. Hood, pass through the entire Warm Springs Rez and usually stop and say hello. There are Klamaths, Modocs and Yahooskins(The Klamath Tribes) that moved to Warm Springs when the government bought back The Klamath Rez in the '60's, reducing it from nearly the size of NJ to a few hundred acres. It's strange the way we have fallen in with The Tribes and the way they have accepted us. We brought none of the city biases that many pack with their household and it has separated us while so many have come and gone in our decade here. Anyone may buy in, but it don't mean you'll fit in. We didn't visit this time, as we were driving with a purpose.

We will be with him until it is over and then we will settle his affairs exactly as he would have it. What else is there? If it weren't for caring for him and my becoming the caregiver in more ways than either of us could have expected(when we lived in Portland, my wife worked as a caregiver before she was a stay at home mom. Have I mentioned my affection for irony? I sprinkle it on my f'in' Cheerios.), I would not have found this forum and who knows what else would be different. As we eased grandma to the other side, there were murmurs of some new illness coming out of China. It's amazing what three years can bring.

When we got back I went immediately to be with him and he recognized me and his eyes lit up. We've been strangers for a while in his mind and he gripped my left arm with his right hand as hard as he could and I'll be damned if it wasn't a firm grasp. It was honest love and it's been a while. It was good to see him, even if just for moments. He asked how I was and "Where do they have you bunked?" and as I told him that they had me down the hall, he raised his eyebrows and nodded in approval as though I had prime real estate and went back into being unable to communicate or make a word at all and I'm not sure that he was conscious. He is hanging on and we are with him for however long that may be. When the time comes, you all will know.

To shift to some good stuff, there was a package that arrived yesterday. My very first purchase on this site was two Del Fatti belts. I have worn the black one every day for two years and it is incredible. The brown one hasn't been used yet, but if I keep wearing the black one after Memorial Day this year I'll be the laughing stock of all the Rez fashion gossip and I'm not going through that again! "Fool me once" and all that, you know what I'm sayin'? Knowing that the belts are of such quality and that the wait times are very, very long the decision to buy a Del Fatti Speed Scabbard for a Government Model when it came up for sale was easy, even if I did put it on a credit card. I have never seen one for sale, it was brand new and at a price that I couldn't pass on. It is the ultimate in "luxury", in my opinion, when it comes to gun leather and more importantly the quality is fantastic. I have played with it a bit and I believe it will be my everyday OWB holster. So, I figured I'd get my EDC stuff and my fancy stuff together and brag on it a bit. I learned it from you jerks, anyway.

The first photo shows the EDC. The black Del Fatti, KGB-stamped Sparks 55BN and a Sparks SSII along with my Jim Wilson/10-8 Colt. I love that gun more and more and a year of carrying it has only made it closer to me. The second photo shows my fancy leather and a couple fancy guns. ACW Anomaly #117, Classic Carry #401(both .45, 'natch) in elephant ivories, Del Fatti belts, my KGB stamped Sparks 55BN with elephant trim to the left of the guns and the Del Fatti RSS to the right. Third photo shows the two holsters and the fourth shows my two base guns that will someday be fancy. The top one is a '74 with a fat trigger guard just waiting to be squared and built for shooting. The bottom is a '77(them ivories is fake) which is my wife's birth year. I understand the chase for our own birth years, but I personally have a desire for the years of my family members rather than my own and my world is built around my wife. These are my first two customs and I very much look forward to them, but very patient at the same time. I'm 44 years old. If someone with more spins around the sun or some other situation "needs" their gun before me, I'd lose not a wink of sleep over them jumping me in line and in fact I may lose sleep if they didn't. Those guns are going to be my dream guns and I hope the dreams of others are fulfilled as well. The fifth photo is The Deschutes River on The Warm Springs Reservation and photo six the sun through the fog as we near the southern border of The Rez. Only 150 miles until we're home.....

The last four photos are from early this morning. We have had pretty terrible weather this last week(month). Beautiful snow fell, followed by nasty rain and blowing winds. I look forward to being able to take better photos in actual sunlight. We were playing Polly Pocket at 7am, but then we switched to some of her other dolls and had a hair salon going and everything! It was probably the most fun I've had this week. When I put her in her chair to eat some very unhealthy "breakfast cereal" made of chocolate and marshmallows, I set up for another photo or two because the photos of the Speed Scabbard from yesterday just aren't that good. I moved the hair salon and Mallory said "Dad, you're messing up my world" and I nodded and said "I think that just makes us even, Sweetheart" and she said "Oh", as if that made perfect sense. Photos 7&8 have my Rock River Arms Elite Commando and Guncrafter BC-17 Hellcat(again, .45's obviously) next to the Alchemy's. The last two are of my partner in crime, wearing one of her prized KGB shirts(P.S. @Karl Beining she is requesting different colors. She loves her shirts, but she was born an Addict because of her father's crippling Addiction and wants more. Makes sense to me. What can I say? The kid knows what's what. You're welcome, Society.) and playing with her toys. She loves her toys, but her guns are important to her as well and she can't wait for shootin' weather. That makes two of us. I am gonna look so good for the mountain, trees, animals and poor souls that are my family this year. The elephant 55BN is for my KGB guns that will be here someday. I'm gonna wear and use the Del Fatti Speed Scabbard a lot. The gun flies out of it like it's spring loaded and I've just barely had it 24 hours. Good stuff is worth it.
Air gun Trigger Everyday carry Ammunition Revolver
Musical instrument accessory Luggage and bags Bag Trunk Automotive exterior
Sleeve Font Personal protective equipment Sports gear Fashion accessory
Air gun Trigger Gun barrel Gun accessory Composite material
Cloud Sky Mountain Snow Road surface
Cloud Sky Atmosphere Asphalt Highland
Air gun Trigger Wood Toy Gun barrel
Luggage and bags Bag Magenta Tool Box
Table Wood Toddler T-shirt Window
Picture frame Couch Smile Wood Toddler
 
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#4 ·
Thank you. We are grateful to be able to do it. If our family had the "normal" lifestyle that we had in Portland, there would simply be no way to do it no matter how much we wanted to. When it started, we thought there would be no way that he'd outlive 2020. It has been quite a ride.

We were very, very close with grandma and grandpa and when we left Portland in many ways we found out that they were our best friends. I'm thankful for so much time with them. Mert loved the Garand and "The .45" as he called it and he was very fond of my 1911's. He had a stock '70's large letter Series 70 and a nickel European Theater WWII Commemorative Model. When he still had his wits well over ten years ago, he wanted to know which one I wanted and it was easy. The Series 70 that he shot, used and loved. The shiny Colt in a box did nothing for me and it went to my wife's brother, as these are her paternal grandparents. That I got first pick was great, but unfortunately that gun was stolen several years ago by a drug addled family member and he didn't have the serial number written down. Of the last guns of mine that he was able to appreciate at all, the simplicity of my Parkerized Dan Wesson A2 appealed to him as did the beautiful bluing of the Baer and RRA. He would have loved my Alchemy's, but those arrived too late and he was and is too far gone.

I've always been emotional about my guns, but Mert is a lifelong gun guy, hunter and American who lived his life his way and did every bit of it honestly and the mutual attachment that he and I had to the 1911 will be with me for the rest of my life.
 
#9 ·
Mert would love that! Thank you! I hope you are well. You guys are all great and we are very thankful to be able to do what we are doing for him, for it's ups and downs.

I am so thankful for this forum and you were one of the first that reached out to me here. That means a lot to me and I hope that you keep fighting that good fight, Sir!
 
#10 ·
I have been a Hospice patient care volunteer for the past 17 years, and have had 105 of my "folks" die. I've seen a lot of things I cannot explain. There is something happening, and many of my folks have had visitors and YES I am a believer. For the sake of brevity I won't go into 17 years of stories. Typically "they" come to let the dying person know that everything will be Ok, it's fairly common. Many times the dying person won't say anything about their visitors because they're afraid no one will believe them, and think they're suffering dementia.

Quick story, one of my folks was 100 years old, a female WW II Marine Drill Instructor, who happened to have married another (male) Drill Instructor. As she was very close to death, I quietly asked her if she had any "visitors". She told me her Mother and sister had come to visit her and to let her know everything was going to be alright. Her Mom told her that since she was the last of her generation (Mom, siblings, cousins, etc had all died before her) that when she died, her Mom and siblings were going to throw her a party when she got to heaven. After 17 years, I believe...

Take comfort, when your time comes I am sure your Grandfather will be there to see you again and to bring you to "the other side". I'm not a very religious person, but I do believe in God and in the afterlife. After 17 years, I believe... I hope this story brings you comfort, it does for me, I believe...
 
#11 ·
Thank you. I do believe in God but I have never before seen or felt anything that startled me as I have been startled in the last few years and specifically the last few days. My wife was a caregiver and CNA in her job and she has said that there have been some things she just can't explain and I believed her, but it's another thing entirely to experience it firsthand.
 
#12 ·
if I keep wearing the black one after Memorial Day this year I'll be the laughing stock of all the Rez fashion gossip and I'm not going through that again!
Good to have a sense of humor now - I believe it’s a healthy balance to what you experience caring for your grandpa & how he is right now. It’s part of life - cherish the moments & remember the good ones.
I am so thankful for this forum
Same. My wallet may not be so much, but I’m thankful for the folks I’ve met here & would very much enjoy attending an addicts shoot to meet them someday.

God bless you & your family, Merton; thanks for sharing
 
#17 ·
Oh, I never once was frustrated with grandpa........did you buy that? I had moments where I had to walk away while he was slipping mentally and could still talk and in May '21 he cut me with a steak knife. We were trying to allow him to die in his home at that time and he had what could only be described as a "psychotic" episode. My wife was 250 miles away at home and I was with grandpa and our daughter, who was two at the time. I didn't even have a car at the house at that time. He could hardly walk, but was suddenly moving around the house at an almost run, wanting to know who I was and what I was doing in his house. I thought I got him calmed down and went to make sure Mallory wasn't too freaked out by the whole thing when I heard the silverware drawer and my heart dropped. When I came into the kitchen he had the biggest knife he could get and he really thought I was an intruder. I looked over and saw his pot of coffee and I knew he was going to go for me with the knife. I grabbed the coffee, threw it in his face and that tough SOB never lost his handle on the knife and slashed my hand. I still have a scar. I was completely freaked out about my daughter and I punched him in his face as hard as I could, while slipping on the coffee on the kitchen floor. He was a 92 year old man at the time and I cannot believe that he had the gumption or that I had the willingness to do what I did to him, but I was protecting my daughter. As I got up off the floor, he was lolling around like he was having a stroke and I thought I killed him. He still didn't drop the knife. I was getting very worried about what I would have to do to make him drop it and at that point I grabbed a kitchen chair and like an f'in' lion tamer I pinned him with the four legs against the kitchen counter. I told him to drop the knife and he wouldn't, so I slammed the chair into him and said that I would have no choice but to keep doing so until he stopped. By this time, Mallory is completely freaked out and rightly so. He finally dropped the knife, I kicked it away and let loose of him. He fell, got up, went into the garage, grabbed a hatchet and walked out to NE 122nd Ave. in Portland as I dialed 911. I was on the phone with the operator begging them not to shoot him as they ordered him to drop the hatchet and thankfully, he did. That was a line that we couldn't abide being crossed. We put him in a home and that was murder on us. He had a stroke and was covered in bruises within 30 days. The stroke knocked him back so hard that I told my wife that we needed to bring him home and she thought I was nuts, but it was the right thing to do. Grandpa didn't cut me, Alzheimer's did. We brought him to Chiloquin in July '21 and here we are.

I am not proud of that. Many of those details I have not shared publicly. What I want to say is, Brother, your frustration is human and it is how we deal with things. Hang in there. The proper course of action is rarely the path of last resistance. Water follows the path of least resistance and it creates crooked rivers and as such, crooked men. Hold that good path, Sir, and don't forget that the straight and narrow is a much more pleasant journey than that crooked flow down the mountain. Fight the good fight. When you are frustrated to your wits end and you feel that you're beating your head against the wall, in my experience it means that you're just standing in the right spot. At least in a situation such as the one we find ourselves in. If my experience may in any way help, I am thankful for that.
 
#16 ·
You guys are so incredible. While we are able to remember the good times and the reality of his advanced age and condition, we are saddened, naturally. A chapter is closing and the last of a generation is on his deathbed. Hospice visited last night for the first time and we are amazed at how quick they got to us and how much help they were. Not that we weren't expecting them to be wonderful, just that we are in the middle of nowhere. Is was in some severe pain yesterday and he is able to rest easier now. He made it through the night and we will keep watch. When his fire dies, we will carry it on in us as we have these years already and it will burn stronger.

Rich or poor, black or white, we all get it in the end. It is The Great Equalizer and the ultimate in "fairness". That grandpa lived a good life his way may not be denied. We all get a beginning and an end and I suppose it's what we do with the middle bit that establishes who we are and were. I feel very secure with my middle bit and I don't know what else there is to do but keep on going and hope that the lessons that we learned are carried through our children and so on.
 
#19 · (Edited)
We are all mortal and thank goodness for that. All we can do in the middle as you called it, is to live according to our values, do what we think is right, and make our limited time here matter via our actions and legacy. I think these hard and challenging times test and show us who we really are. We all wear many masks—a mask of who we are at work, with friends, and our family. The closer someone gets to you, the less masks they see, but one mask stays on with anyone else—the mask you wear for yourself—and that final mask falls only after you experience the hardest of tests. Then the final mask drops and you see yourself as you are, all that is good, all that is bad, and the all that you may wish isn’t so. It’s then that you realize who you are.

When I served I learned that it was impossible to know with certainty how people will react under extreme pressure. I have seen people I thought were solid freeze in their first firefight, and saw others rise to the challenge and amaze their teammates. That’s when you see others unmasked and when they learn who they really are. You went and are going through that process and you are a good man. A role model for your kids.

You rose to the challenge, and displayed your courage and big heart via actions to your loved ones. Words can‘t help mitigate your pain, but maybe knowing that you have much to be proud of as a human being and family man can help. Knowing that everything you have done, and are doing, amounts to life lessons for your children, and one day they will rise to whatever challenge they will face, and be better prepared for it by looking at what their role model dad did. That’s a priceless gift that you are giving them every day. They are fortunate and blessed to have you!

Stay strong and take care!
 
#21 ·
We are all mortal and thank goodness for that. All we can do in the middle as you called it, is to live according to our values, do what we think is right, and make our limited time here matter via our actions and legacy. I think these hard and challenging times test and show us who we really are. We all wear many masks—a mask of who we are at work, with friends, and our family. The closer someone gets to you, the less masks they see, but one mask stays on with anyone else—the mask you wear for yourself—and that final mask falls only after you experience the hardest of tests. Then the final mask drops and you see yourself as you are, all that is good, all that is bad, and the all that you may wish isn’t so. It’s then that you realize who you are.

When I served I learned that it was impossible to know with certainty how people will react under extreme pressure. I have seen people I thought were solid freeze in their first firefight, and saw others rise to the challenge and amaze their teammates. That’s when you see others unmasked and when they learn who they really are. You went and are going through that process and you are a good man. A role model for your kids.

You rose to the challenge, and displayed your courage and big heart via actions to your loved ones. Words can‘t help mitigate your pain, but maybe knowing that you have much to be proud of as a human being and family man a can help. Knowing that everything you have done, and are doing, amounts to life lessons for your children, and one day they will rise to whatever challenge they will face, and be better prepared for it by looking at their role model dad did. That’s a priceless gift that you are giving them ever day. They are fortunate and blessed to have you!

Stay strong and take care!
You couldn't be more correct and the masks we all wear are a part of life. I hope to live up to the role models that I had and learn from their examples and from their mistakes. I hope that my children see me in moments of ultimate victory as well as folly of my own device. The death of the Father is owed to the Son and the series of events that we all experience validates the life and establishes the path for our children to follow and we have all been following just that since God put us here to do so. All in good turn. When I am truly weighed, I will be found wanting and I aim to minimize that as best as possible for the sake of living up to those before me and setting an example for those that follow. To sully the examples set for me is unacceptable.

Thank you for the kind words and I'm sure you'll understand when I say that I am truly the blessed one. My family has given me every reason to bend over backward for them and I will. They were the best grandparents, great-grandparents and even briefly, great-great-grandparents for nearly 50 years. I grew up next door to my wife and I have known them for 39 of my 44 years. In-Law's? Sure, I got some of those. Merton and Norma Bong are my grandfather and grandmother and qualifiers denoting the exact nature of our familial relationship mean very little to me and I'm thankful for that.
 
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