More Blondes

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by limbkiller, Oct 17, 2018.

  1. limbkiller

    limbkiller Pulling my hair. Supporting Addict

    Aug 18, 2011
    Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........
    and one blonde says to the other:
    "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?
    "The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......???


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    CAR TROUBLE
    A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
    She tells the mechanic it died.
    After he works on it for a few minutes,it is idling smoothly.
    She says,"What's the story?"
    He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
    She asks,"How often do I have to do that?"

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    SPEEDING TICKET
    A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
    She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
    Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

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    RIVER WALK
    There's this blonde out for a walk.
    She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
    "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,
    "How can I get to the other side?
    " The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
    "You ARE on the other side."

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    KNITTING
    A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
    blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
    Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren,the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhornand yelled , "PULL OVER!"
    "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

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    BLONDE ON THE SUN
    A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
    The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
    The American said, "We were the first on the moon!
    " The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
    The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
    "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
    To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know - - -
    We're going at night!"

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    IN A VACUUM
    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
    It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
    Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
    She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off??

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    FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
    and asked her what their names were.
    The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex
    and one was named Timex.
    Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs
    like that?"
    "HelOOOooo," answered the blond.-"They're watch dogs!"
     
  2. ZoidMeister

    ZoidMeister Consider my signature line before replying . . . .

    Dec 4, 2014
    I think I lost 20 IQ points just reading thoze . . . .







    . . . . . . and I only started out with 58 . . . . . . .
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2018

  3. Mike A

    Mike A Well-Known Member Supporting Addict

    Mar 19, 2017
    Blondes you gota love Em LOL. ;)
     
    boatdoc and limbkiller like this.
  4. Bender

    Bender Supporting Addict Supporting Addict

    Aug 15, 2011
    My ex wife identifies with a few of those
     
    limbkiller likes this.
  5. LYKUNO

    LYKUNO Well-Known Member

    Feb 16, 2018
    Mine too!
     
    limbkiller likes this.

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