Mrs. Lk is really pissed.

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by limbkiller, Sep 10, 2012.

  1. limbkiller

    limbkiller Pulling my hair. Supporting Addict

    Aug 18, 2011
    On the weekends I wasn't hunting or fishing, my old squaw insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

    Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

    Dear Mrs. Fowler,

    Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Fowler, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway

    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

    9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

    12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels on his chest.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a
    fetal position and screamed 'OHNO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

    15. Took a box of condoms to the check out clerk and asked where the fitting room was?

    And last, but not least:

    16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

    One of the clerks passed out.

    I have No Idea why shes Upset it was just in Fun
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2012
  2. Dub

    Dub born in the wrong century

    Mar 19, 2017
    LMMFAO !!!!!!!!!!
    limbkiller likes this.

  3. Descartian

    Descartian Well-Known Member

    Apr 13, 2017
    Now that’s funny.
    limbkiller and Dub like this.
  4. 1LuvGuns

    1LuvGuns Incurable..... NRA Lifer

    Aug 14, 2012
    ROFLMAO! My wife is wondering why I'm giggling uncontrollably.... This stuff is GOLD!
    Dub and limbkiller like this.
  5. Badabing11

    Badabing11 I gotta have more cowbell

    Sep 6, 2015
    Those are great . Thanks for the laugh!
    Dub and limbkiller like this.
  6. SVG

    SVG Well-Known Member

    Mar 9, 2019
    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    Dub and limbkiller like this.
  7. Capthobo

    Capthobo NRA Endowment member Supporting Addict

    Nov 9, 2016
    I can’t figure out why no one has responded to this post since it was originally posted in 2012!
    Kip, Tnj1911, Dub and 2 others like this.
  8. limbkiller

    limbkiller Pulling my hair. Supporting Addict

    Aug 18, 2011
    Seems I have been posting jokes a long time. :)
    xerts1191, Lou1, Rizzo and 7 others like this.
  9. Babboonbobo

    Babboonbobo Avatar is back to my favorite things!

    Nov 18, 2014
    Now THATS funny!!!
    Rizzo, isialk, Kip and 2 others like this.
  10. ACP

    ACP Well-Known Member

    Nov 24, 2018
    That’s some good stuff!
    limbkiller and Dub like this.


    Apr 5, 2015
    There are actually a few great practical jokes in there.
    Kip, Tnj1911, Barefootdog and 2 others like this.
  12. jjfitch

    jjfitch Well-Known Member

    Mar 26, 2012
    Turn all the oil filters so the numbers face inside the shelf.

    I think he's the reason all the right and left shoes are tied together inside the boxes!

    Heard it from a friend!
    limbkiller, Dub and Kip like this.
  13. limbkiller

    limbkiller Pulling my hair. Supporting Addict

    Aug 18, 2011
    Probably because when I posted it there wasn't 500 members. The forum was barely a year old then.
    xerts1191, Lou1, Uncle Bob and 3 others like this.
  14. Uncle Bob

    Uncle Bob Well-Known Member

    Sep 22, 2017
    Glad I read mail in the head, I would have pissed myself laughing!
    SVG and limbkiller like this.
  15. Lou1

    Lou1 Well-Known Member Supporting Addict

    Sep 1, 2018
    Golden oldie from LK!
    limbkiller likes this.

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