Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by limbkiller, Jan 11, 2019.

  1. limbkiller

    limbkiller Pulling my hair. Supporting Addict

    Aug 18, 2011
    * Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
    * Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
    * We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
    * He who laughs last thinks slowest.
    * Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
    * It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
    * Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
    * Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
    * I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
    * All men are idiots, and I married their King.
    * Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
    * Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
    * Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
    * Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
    * Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
    * OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
    * Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
    * I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
    * Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
    * Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its students.
    * Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
    * Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
    * A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
    * Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
    * Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
    * We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things got worse.
    * Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
    * Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
    * Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
    * Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
    * There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
    * Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
    * Keep honking...I'm reloading.
    xerts1191, jfrey, boatdoc and 6 others like this.

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