Stress, tension and panic?

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by Mike Meints, Jun 2, 2020.

  1. Mike Meints

    Mike Meints Well-Known Member

    Mar 2, 2017
    1. What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

    Stress is when wife is pregnant;
    Tension is when girl friend is pregnant;
    Panic is when both are pregnant!

    2. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
    Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our postman moved away!

    3. A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"
    Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential!"

    4. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman,
    “Which book has helped you most in your life?”
    The woman replied, “My husband’s cheque book!”

    5. A prospective husband in a book store: “Do you have a book called, Husband the Master of the House?
    ”Sale’s Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!”

    6. Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife "Darling, Honey, Love." What’s the secret?”
    Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!”
    Jimhoag, BillKilgore, jfrey and 17 others like this.
  2. BCD 45

    BCD 45 Well-Known Member

    Feb 13, 2019
    I love the last one Mike. Great!
    isialk and Mike Meints like this.

  3. Mike A

    Mike A Well-Known Member Supporting Addict

    Mar 19, 2017
    How old was he? I forgot whats her names name, years ago LOL. :eek:
    isialk and Mike Meints like this.

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