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This really works best if you have three kids: one straight-A student with lots of extra-curricular activities and an after-school job, one good kid with average grades and not a whole lot of motivation, and one slacker who skips school all the time, never does homework, and lays around playing video games and smoking pot all day:

1. Take 40% of kid #1's ice cream and tell him he is too privileged.
2. Take 20% of kid #2's ice cream and tell him he is special.
3. Add kid #1's former ice cream to kid #2's former ice cream.
4. Throw away half the ice cream.
5. Give 20% of the ice cream to your neighbors.
6. Eat 20% of the ice cream.
7. Give the rest of the ice cream to kid #3, tell him his behavior is perfectly OK, nothing is his fault, and he is being victimized by kids 1 and 2.
 
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