Why Men Are Happier

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by limbkiller, Feb 13, 2019.

  1. limbkiller

    limbkiller Pulling my hair. Supporting Addict

    Aug 18, 2011
    Why Men Are Never Depressed

    Men Are Just Happier People-- Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character.

    Wedding dress: $5,000. Tux rental: $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

    You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
     
  2. xerts1191

    xerts1191 Well-Known Member

    Aug 12, 2017

  3. jaydoc

    jaydoc i'm riding a turtle!

    Aug 10, 2012
    I did the Christmas shopping thing one year. My credit card company called me because they thought my card had been stolen as it had been used so many times in such a short time frame
     
    FWoo45, Otherside, GIJoke and 4 others like this.
  4. july19

    july19 Womb? Weary? He rests. He has travelled. Supporting Addict

    Sep 16, 2013
    Great. All true; I’ve worn my hair in the same style for 64 years - I changed it in the 60’s - I was a long haired hippy during my college years.
     
    GIJoke and limbkiller like this.
  5. Cop_Out

    Cop_Out Pearl Pimp Supporting Addict

    Feb 3, 2017
    Two funny! Thanks for posting!
     
    limbkiller likes this.
  6. Fatbob Frank

    Fatbob Frank Supporting Addict Supporting Addict

    Feb 5, 2014
    To be perfectly honest I've pissed behind a dumpster cause a gas station bathroom was so bad...
     
  7. slinger 45

    slinger 45 ALWALS point the gun in a safe direction! ALWAYS!

    75
    Sep 22, 2017

You need 3 posts to add links to your posts! This is used to prevent spam.

Verification:
Draft saved Draft deleted