You might be a redneck...

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by limbkiller, Jul 13, 2020.

  1. ZoidMeister

    ZoidMeister Consider my signature line before replying . . . .

    Dec 4, 2014
    Kissing Cousins . . . . ?

    Maybe more like Siamese twins . . . .
     
  2. Uncle Bob

    Uncle Bob Well-Known Member

    Sep 22, 2017
    Ahem! That's grandpa and you bet it is! And XMAS is almost every day! :)
     

  3. Uncle Bob

    Uncle Bob Well-Known Member

    Sep 22, 2017
    1 1 general store.jpg
     
    Kip, livinthelife, Lou1 and 3 others like this.
  4. *Double Diamond Colt*

    *Double Diamond Colt* Well-Known Member

    311
    Jan 15, 2020
    Not to fear Bob I will get us started today.

    45. If your bloodhound ate your spatula and you had to flip Bacon with your leatherman tool
    46. If you have not been in an accident and your passenger side truck door is held shut with a ratchet strap .
    47. If you do the majority of your carpentry work with a Chainsaw
    48. If you have worm containers in your refrigerator WITH NO WORMS IN THEM !!! just dirt
    49. If you have ever found a Quail in your small game vest 2 MONTHS AFTER THE SEASON!!!
    50. If you can field dress a deer faster than you can figure out how to register your truck on line
    51. If your Credit score is measured in preference points attained for an ELK hunt

    Ok that's all I got this morning
     
  5. Uncle Bob

    Uncle Bob Well-Known Member

    Sep 22, 2017
    Wait.... rednecks go online?!?!? ;)
     
    ZoidMeister likes this.
  6. *Double Diamond Colt*

    *Double Diamond Colt* Well-Known Member

    311
    Jan 15, 2020
    Only for things related to Hunting Fishing and Trucks LOL
     
  7. ZoidMeister

    ZoidMeister Consider my signature line before replying . . . .

    Dec 4, 2014

    That's why Google called their browser "Chrome." Gives the good ole boys sumptin to attain towards . . . . .



    BlingTruck.jpg






    They should called it RUST due to truth in advertising rules . . . .

    Z
     
    livinthelife and Lou1 like this.
  8. fatbaldguy

    fatbaldguy Cranky old curmudgeon

    Jul 28, 2017
  9. N.Al-Tider

    N.Al-Tider Well-Known Member

    169
    May 15, 2017
    Shucks! I have more fishing rods than the total # of lug nuts on all of my vehicles and as of right now I have six of them...
    [​IMG]
     
    *Double Diamond Colt* likes this.
  10. *Double Diamond Colt*

    *Double Diamond Colt* Well-Known Member

    311
    Jan 15, 2020
    If you have to bribe your wife to remove a tick from your neither region with a dinner at Texas Road House you may be a redneck.

    If practical shooting means killing more stuff than Smallpox to feed your family you may be a redneck
     
    N.Al-Tider likes this.
  11. ZoidMeister

    ZoidMeister Consider my signature line before replying . . . .

    Dec 4, 2014

    Does that work?

    Asking for a friend . . . . . .
     
    livinthelife likes this.
  12. N.Al-Tider

    N.Al-Tider Well-Known Member

    169
    May 15, 2017
    I'm curious now. Do you have a tick or a friend sucking on your nether region? Nevermind, I REALLY don't want to know...
     
    ZoidMeister likes this.
  13. *Double Diamond Colt*

    *Double Diamond Colt* Well-Known Member

    311
    Jan 15, 2020
    Yep proof tested at least a couple times a year.
    The rule of thumb is the farther below my navel it is the more expensive the restaurant I have to take her to .
     
    ZoidMeister likes this.
  14. WartHog

    WartHog Well-Known Member

    604
    Jan 29, 2014
    52. If your muddin' truck is worth more than your trailer house...

    Some rednecks draw the line at first cousins, most draw the line at second. A hillbilly on the other hand... Well them guys just creep me out.
     
  15. Apollo99

    Apollo99 Well-Known Member

    962
    Jun 26, 2017
    #52 if you ever had an argument with a neighbor and threatened to "burn them out"

    #53 if people come on your property and can't tell the difference between your house and the pig sty.
     
    *Double Diamond Colt* likes this.
  16. ZoidMeister

    ZoidMeister Consider my signature line before replying . . . .

    Dec 4, 2014

    Texas Roadhouse . . . . dang, that had to be an actual . . . . never mind . . . . . .
     
    *Double Diamond Colt* likes this.
  17. Wildcat Creeker

    Wildcat Creeker Well-Known Member

    712
    Jan 26, 2012
    "46. If you have not been in an accident and your passenger side truck door is held shut with a ratchet strap."

    A rubber bungee strap works fine, and yes, I have done it.
     
  18. *Double Diamond Colt*

    *Double Diamond Colt* Well-Known Member

    311
    Jan 15, 2020
    54 . If you store your push mower under an abandoned truck in your yard
    55. If the roof on your shed consists of a couple green tarps
     
    livinthelife and ZoidMeister like this.
  19. *Double Diamond Colt*

    *Double Diamond Colt* Well-Known Member

    311
    Jan 15, 2020
    Used a Bungee before the ratchet strap .On a 95 degree day in a hard left turn she let loose and almost lost my buddy out the door .
     
  20. *Double Diamond Colt*

    *Double Diamond Colt* Well-Known Member

    311
    Jan 15, 2020
    Its a new day my 1911 toting Redneck Brethren lets see what I got.
    56. If the exhaust system on your truck is constructed of Soup Cans and coat hangers

    57. If your grandpa wore longjohns in the summertime .

    58. If you thought your name was Chop Wood for the first 16 yrs of your life

    59. If your garden hose is spliced together with hose clamps

    60. If your screen door has holes in it big enough for a hummingbird to fly through

    61 . If the amount of Oil , Trans fluid and antifreeze leaked in your driveway has qualified you for the Super Fund Project

    Thatel git us started .
     

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